Dare Devil

2007-02-02T21:27:00.000+08:00

i nvr update the past few week... cause thing juz happen very suddenly... juz broke up wif aida and went on wif ailena... all tis shouldn't happen... haiz... i wanted to reject ailena but to confirm wif myself... i tell her to wait for 1 week... so she agree... but for aida... i also ask her to give mi 1 week... she say she will only give mi 3 days... so i think... 3 days better den dun haf... as i haf headache of all tis... aida keep asking mi for answer... i gt so piss off and i break up wif her... haiz... i dun noe tis is right or wrong... i really dun noe... there are a lot of ppl keep asking mi why i break up wif aida... haiz... i dun lyk ppl to force mi to say the thing tt i dun wish to say... i get piss easily... but for wad i noe nw is.. im happy to be wif ailena... she crack a lot of jokes to make mi laugh... although she keep asking mi question... but i guess i shall juz answer lor... haiz... the sad thing is she told mi abt her... i dun noe wad to do.. but to tk extra good care of her... my cousin is in the same class as ailena's sis... haha... my cousin lyk her but he scare tt she dun lyk him... today my cousin go school wif us... haha... i gt so stress wif a lot of things... yesterday i cried while i draw my art yesterday... i lost a lot of friends liao... juz by rejecting a girl... haiz... nw in class i try nt to sleep le... nw in class also no one wan to talk to mi le... haiz... but at least still haf ailena talking to mi... she told mi a lot of things... haha... haiz... today late go home cause of training... after gb finish their training... ailena waited for mi... den mr chong ask mi to go chin up bar... den... i go... after tt we dismiss le... saw ailena playing captain ball... so i told her i haven finish... cause i wan her to haf fun... after tt... we walk to plaza den go home... today is our 6th day... i very scare tt she will break up wif mi again... haiz... i gonna to stop le... i nid to go do art le... STRESS!!!

2007-01-22T19:01:00.000+08:00

i gonna be quick... cause i cant tahan my headache again... i gt headache the whole day... im scare... i scare i juz lyk my father's friend son... he gt a sudden headache... was sent to hospital and doctor found out tt gt something in his head... so he went for a operation... was success... but after few hours... he pass away... tt time he was only primary 6... and i was only primary 4... haiz... i really scare... how... haiz.. for those who care for mi today... thank you very much...

2007-01-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

haiz... unfair... argh... my father totally bias against mi sia... primary school i wan join basketball... he dun allow... he wan mi to join scout... den secondary school i wan join basketball... he force mi to join NCC... argh... nw my father ask my brother to join basketball so tt he will grow taller den mi... WTH... argh... den i say he die die secondary school muz join NCC... my father say no... haiz... i totally haf no freedom of wad im gg to do in the future... tt why i dun even think of planning my future... everybody ask mi.. which poly i will go if i pass my 'O' lvl... i dun noe... wad course to choose... i also dun noe.. cause wadever i choose... my father will nt happy wif it... haiz... my future is nt in my hands... is in my father hands... haiz... argh... i hate tis home... i hate my parents... i hate my life... sob sob...

2007-01-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

haiz... totally unhappy abt wad had happen for the past few days... haiz... a lot of ppl haf problems... zc told mi his problem... i try to help him... ppl tell mi problem.. i try to help as far as i could.. but i keep thinking... who will help mi.. haiz... i noe i use hurtful word to gf... but i also dun wan to get scold as siao all the time wad... juz think la... if ppl keep scolding u siao... will u feel happy, sad or angry... was bored at school juz nw at 6... wanted to call gf to school as i saw a lot of express student (2006) came in... but i think... she cant go out at night... so nvr call her... juz nw chat wif her... den she say... why nvr ask mi go out... so i say... u can meh... haiz... den i ask her out at 9++... her answer.. siao... i noe i was in the wrong to call her out at 9++ but all i wan is to seee her only ma... cant meh... den i explain why i nvr call her out at 6... den she hang up my call... haiz... i noe is hurtful... but think... u use hurtful word lyk siao.... the person wont feel sad or angry meh... everyone haf feelings... sad, happy, angry, disppointed, jealous, hurtful and etc rite? i also a human which haf feeling... in school... saw zc and cl together... think back abt last year... i really envy them sia... they dun noe each other and yet they treat one another so well... haiz... carmen and a guy... although they cant stead... they still very close... haiz... why cant my relationship is as happy as them... haiz...
To: ZC, CL, Carmen and tt guy... im sry to ps u all juz nw... i juz cant stand it... i noe... i felt jealous... i get jealous very easily... cause i envy u all... haiz...
To: GF... i really sry to say harsh word at u... u also dun wan ppl to scold u siao all the time right... haiz...

2007-01-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

haiz haiz haiz... i wan brain-wash... wash everything in my mind... wash all the unhappiness and happiness away... i juz wan to be lyk a new born baby... haiz... things are bothering mi for few week... dun wish to say it out... cause i dun noe there is anyone wanna to hear mi out... haiz... very stress nw... wif my stupid art for 'O' lvl.. i dun noe whether i can cope or nt... haiz... research is all i nid to do well.. cause painting i think i can cope... haiz... i dun noe how to face her nw.. things are happen juz too quickly... haiz... gf... im sry for wad i haf done.. really sry.. haiz... gt to start wif my art research nw... haiz...

2007-01-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

haiz... tis has bother mi for weeks... shall i blog my wish list for tis year... haiz.. i guess i shall blog it... cause it will nt came true anyway... i dun noe how many wish i haf... some i may forget liao...

hope gf will change back to herself some day...
buy a hp for gf...
had a cable car ride wif gf in the day/night... (nt possible)
go countdown wif gf on new year/or other event... (nt possible)
pass 'O' lvl wif gd grade... (nt possible)
watch sunset and sunrise alone or wif gf some day... (nt possible)
peace at home... (nt possible)
dun sleep in class...
no record in school...
go for CLT course... (nt possible)
EVERLASTING RELATIONSHIP WIF GF...
get a Part Time job after 'O' lvl wif a great pay...
save up to $3000 at the end of tis year to spend it wif my cousin/friends/gf...
watch movie every month alone or wif gf... (nt possible)
over-night without any scolding... (nt possible)
ppl call mi out to haf fun...
haf my sis will pass 'N' lvl wif 10 points or less...
ppl dun look down on mi... (nt possible)
no STRESS!!! (nt possible)
get wad i wan... (nt possible)
happiness... (nt possible)

i might think tt im stupid to wish thing which are nt possible... haiz... yes.. u are right... im stupid... i dun dare to aim high... cause whenever i aim high... the feeling for failing will be damn great... i noe... i dun dare to do tis... dun dare to do tt... wad for i call myself a Dare Devil... maybe i should juz change to Coward Darius... haiz...

2007-01-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

haiz... wad does a new year means??? tis is wad i think... a new year... all changes... my family haf change... class haf change... friend haf change... haiz... parent putting stress on mi... class... is damn bored... no one to talk to... friend... all lyk stranger... haiz... gf also change liao... she nt herself... today mit her... thought tt she haf change back to herslelf and i very happy... but i was wrong... she haven change back to herself... haiz.. i guess she will nvr be back anymore... i noe she haf a great blow of her 'N' lvl result... haiz... shall nt say anymore... haiz... why cant i get wad ppl haf... wad muz i suffer.... a new year... i juz feel lyk i haf change from EARTH to HTRAE... outer space planet i guess... haiz... totally diff from last year... haiz... i wan to go back last year... frankly... i didnt sleep well after the stupid new year... haiz...

2007-01-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

i haf to make tis quick... cause i dun feel well nw... today... at school quite ok... haf fun in class... but still bored... haiz... after school... go book shop tk book and when home and get bath... den went out to meet gf to go bugis... walk walk tilll 6.30... took bus back bp... sent her home... make her cry again... darling.. actually nt ur fault la.. im in the wrong.. really... i dun wan to tell u wad im thinking is i dun wan to to be sad... after she went home... walk down the stairs... saw two girls selling ice cream... went i reach lvl 1... i think of buying ice cream... climb up the stair and brought 2 cone and get one free.. they dun haf change... or i buy 4 and get 2 free... spend $7.20... eat 2 cone and saw my cadet gg home... give one to him.... and the rest i eat... den i thought of smoking.... call jinyi ask him if he haf it nw or nt... but he dun haf... den on the way to plaza... i vomited two times... went to plaza mac... brought 2 ice cream cone... spend $1... den went down to buy sushi... spend $5.40 as haf 50% off... total of 19 pieces... i guess the auntie will be very happy... she even remember mi... she ask mi... why buy so much... haiz... den on the way home... saw a man drop a few boxes of stuff... when to help as one old auntie was trying to help.. but the boxes was damn heavy... it weight abt 20kg per box... althought im nt strong... but i juz keep trying... and was done... arm was injured... when to senja shop... buy root beer and coke.. drink them in 5 mins... after tt... vomited again... a total of 4 vomited in a day.... reach home... bath wif freezing water and nvr dry myself totally and i fan myself... i dun noe wad happen to mi... i guess im sick in the brain... tis feeling today i haf is much more worse den i break up wif WT... i guess i go eat my sushi and sleep... i dun wan to lose her... but i juz felt tt... she haf totoally change after tking the 'N' lvl result... haiz... stop here den..

2007-01-04T16:24:00.000+08:00

today is totally sux.... go school... sleep in class cause class decor.. i nvr do.. very bored... den recess... zhen chuan come find mi go eat together... den go eat... den thought of gg to lib... but saw hao peng and jolee at canteen talking... den we also go talk talk... den recess over.. go back class... talk talk talk again... haiz... den teacher bring us to lib... cool.. after tt go AVA... listen to Principal(dun noe weather correct or nt) talk till 2.20pm... haiz... i feel lyk juz walk out the room sia... den miss tan talk.. talk till 2.55pm.. argh... gt piss liao... cause yesterday gf say she will be waiting for mi outside... den she dismiss us at 3pm... they keep asking... for wad come back to study for 'O' lvl... den when i walk out of the room... i say... ban sec 5 la... i use kenneth phone to call her... haiz... still at ITE... haiz... so disappointing.. but haiz... hack la... i disapointed better den she gt angry.. haiz.. reach home.. my mum told mi tt the "India ppl" go cut my bike lock.. argh... gt damn angry... go and look for tt bastard.... den ask him to give mi back... he dun wan... i push him... den my father come... wow... he pull his shirt and shout at him... den he scare... haha... den i ask my father go home and eat while i foolow tt bastard to tk my bike... he say muz wait for his boss... i gt damn fed up... i push him... and push him again... den he tk... argh...stupid bastard... sry darling... i juz cant control juz nw.. sry...

2007-01-01T08:59:00.000+08:00

hello... HAPPY NEW YEAR... haiz.. gt problem wif tis blogger sia... juz post but it was gone.. .so haf to type again... haiz... a new year... wad wishes u gt... for mi... there's a lot.. almost all abt her... haiz... wad to do.. i care too much for her... went out at 9pm... mit zhen chuan and gang at CCK interchange... took bus 188... haiz.. a very long trip.. i almost fell asleep... haha.. reach liao... walk to vivo.. slack there as to wait for countdown.. went to 3rd lvl... saw jj lin on screen... den countdown... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... lame i noe... den firework time.. haiz.. we missed tt.. so sad... den we planing where to go as daniel was sick... ask him to go home he dun wan... haiz.. den they say wan to go sentosa overnight... cool tt wad i wan... but... haiz... nt wif friend.. haiz.. den when to 7-11 to buy drinks... den we walk to sentosa.. i willl either walk damn fast or damn slow... haiz... cause of one couple.. i noe i get jealous very easily... jerry told mi tis and he say he hate mi for tis.. i dun mind him telling mi tis.. cause he is juz stating the fact.. haiz... all go sentosa to sleep sia... haiz... i nvr sleep... tt couple also nvr sleep.. to avoid them... i walk here and there... walk till sian... den sit down one side... saw a lot of couple playing wif sea water... haiz... i dun wan to see all tis... so i go dig a very big hole... dig till sian... den i put back all the sand... and tt patch was damn soft... someone even almost fell... opps... i noe im bad... but wad to do.. haha... den mi and tt couple went to watch tower wanting to see sunrise.. we waited till 7am.. no sun... haiz.. i guess two of my wishes cant came true liao... haiz... sad... i will nt state my wishes as i dun wan her to force herself to make my wishes came true... sry darling... i guess i gtg liao... i wan to bath liao.. the reason i blog 1st is because i scare after bathing i will knock out... haha... once again... HAPPY NEW YEAR...

2006-12-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today late for my date wif gf... opps... sry... i didnt mean it... i woke up at 9 but can tahan due to late sleeping last night... i slept at 5.30 tis morning.. haha.. cant sleep.. i juz scare.. i scare abt today.. i scare to leave her.. i scare i make her angry.. i scare i will make her upset... i scare a lot of stuff... haiz.. very scare when i saw her msg tis morning... she say tt she is bloodly angry... so i rush lyk hell... quick wash up... quick bath... thought of running to her house... but i dun wan to be smelly due to sweat... haha... go walk very fast... den saw a cab... den took a cab... haiz... spend $3.30... haiz... i really had fun wif her... but the only thing is... haf to let her go early.. haiz... i haf a lot of wishes abt her and mi... haha... but for my wishes to come true... i haf to WLL ( Wait Long Long) haiz...

2006-12-27T21:26:00.000+08:00

haiz... today wake up at 11+ found out tt my hp no batt liao... den i charge my hp.. den switch on my hp at 1+.. was damn bored the whole day... juz nw at 5.46pm give gf a missed call.. she msg mi and she tt wil call mi ltr... den gf call mi back at 7.18pm... den talk talk... but i was quiet... was piss... but i dun noe who should piss wif.. haiz... forget abt it la... haha... plan to go out tis friday... to vivo to watch deathnote 2... den plan to go vivo again on sunday... countdown... guess i will go alone on tt day... i think gf also cant go out wif mi on the sunday... cause she will send her sis oversea... haiz... think i stop here la...

2006-12-26T03:23:00.000+08:00

haiz... i dun noe how to say tis... but i juz felt very weird... i felt uneasy... after getting result onwards... she haf change... totally nt herself anymore... i juz felt very sad... i really dun noe how to help her... but i really wan to help her... haiz... when i felt tt she is nt herself... i felt very very sad and feel lyk crying... haiz... nw having a plan to bring her out... but i guess.. i shall juz cancel it and go out myself... after tt day... she dun wan to go anywhere... on sat... call her out she dun wan... although i gt piss.. but i dun blame her... hu wish to fail... no one wish to fail... only failure wish to failure... cause they born to fail... maybe she give herself a high hope and she didnt gt it... and tis is a very great blow to her... so i dun blame her... all i asking nw is... i juz wan herself to be back ASAP...

2006-12-25T23:45:00.000+08:00

ho ho ho... merry x'mas... haha... if u ask mi tis... are u happy... my answer will be no... will tell ltr...

23 dec
woke up at 11++ thought my cousin came liao... but haven.. so turn on comp... play freecell... at 1++ my cousin came... den went my mum reach home... she give mi, my sis, my two cousins $30 each... we talk and we went out to eat.. den come back use comp... he brought his game... den he play... he ask mi wanna to play.. i dun even noe how to play... after tt.. he say wanna to play basketball... so we went out at 6.30pm... den we play wif others... having a match wif kid... den gt one adult came over and ask wanna to play match against them... den i say anything... den we had a match... 6 (kids) vs 5 (adult)... we played well although we lost... score 30/51... at least we didnt get 10 or less... haha... den went home... very tired... bath and we use comp again... use comp till 3am and we sleep...

24 dec
we woke up at 11... plan where to go... my mum ask mi bring him go vivo city... den we bath at 1 cause we were watching horror movie which was in my comp... after bath... my cousin say wanna to buy a cap... cause he dun wan to do his hair... lol... den he go do his hair as well as mi... haha... den we went to tk bus 963... very bored inside the bus... den we saw a pretty girl board the bus... den there was a seat in front of mi... but her mother ask her go behind... haiz... so sad... den reach liao... my cousin was so sotong... he almost follow tt girl... haha... den we went into the shopping mall... was packed.. 1st time sia... den we walk.. den he say he wan to buy cap... haiz... gt hair do and still wan cap... den walk walk walk.. cant find wad he wants... den we left tt place... juz 20 mins in there... haiz... den we went to PS... he wan to go toilet to look at his hair.. haiz... so bring him go... den i bring him to 77th street... we were there for 20 mins... and brought wad he wan... and the cap cost $36.90... and my mum only give him $30... haiz... overspend le... den we walk walk walk.. sian le... went to arcade... only wan to see ppl play... den cant tahan le... go change $10 into $1 coins... den play... the most tiring was... playing basketball... we play 3 round each... den our hands gone numb... haiz... den after tt $10... we stop le... den we walk and saw one guy... damn rich sia... he change a big bag of $1... wow... saw him and his gf were trying to get jackpot and they will win a soft toy... and of course i will think other things liao la... haiz... den we went out... i give a call to my sis... ask her where was she... she was also at PS.. so a ask her come up to lvl 7 to find us... i give a call to jinyi... thought tt he will go out... but he cant... he at his ah ma house... haiz... called tony... he say he at church... haiz... no one to call... so my cousin wanted to call her sis to come over... den i give a call to her... she say tt she at vivo.. lol... haiz..she say tt she will watch movie ltr.. den we nvr disturb her le... den mi, my sis. my cousin and my sis friend... 4 of us were together all the way... dun noe where to go... haiz... den we go play arcade again... spend $10 again.. haiz... den go out PS... saw ppl tking photo... den mi and my cousin go disturb by blocking their view... i was scolded for 5 times... den my cousin go say sry.. stupid la... haiz... he very funny sia... i hit him den he thought he hit my sis den he go say sry to my sis... den i ask him.. u say sry for wad... is i hit u den why u go say sry to my sis... den he turn back and say... my sry i tk back... lame sia he... haiz... den we went to mac... soend $10.60... haiz... my cousin saw a girl kissing another girl... den tt girl look at mi... so i thought was my friend.. so i tk a look... deb my cousin tell mi tt the girl go kiss the other girl... haiz... he talk hor... wa... damn loud sia... den i buy food and drink liao... den wan to go sit.. den i found out tt the girls juz sit behind us.. haiz... so i haf nth to say liao... den my cousin keep looking at the girls... haiz... den the girls keep staring at mi... haiz... den the girls go liao.. .den we go block ppl view again... den we stand outside PS... saw the girls again... so we move away from them.. den the girl came near us and kiss other girl hand... den i scold my cousin... u see la... talk so loud... nw they kiss and let us see again... haiz.. den we wanted to go taka... but was damn pack.. cant move at all... so we juz find a place and sit down... looking at ppl playing the snow spray... lyk very fun... saw couples holding hand... saw couples spraying each other... even uncle and auntie also join in the fun... felt sad... den my sis friend ask wanna to buy or nt... den we go buy... haha... buy till no money... haiz... den we spray... my cousin spray till lyk dun noe wad sia... den i walk past ppl den spray... near taka... saw a group of girls... wow... haha... thought of taking their number... but nah... spray a bit and say... merry x'mas... they smile... i looked back... they were still smiling... they were really having fun... i wonder if i spray a lot... will they still smile... haha... no one noe... den walk to opposite far east plaza... took bus home... reach home... bath and knock out... had a dream... dream of the girls who smile back at mi... i dream tt i did nt spray at their clothes... in my dream... i spray at their hands... and they ask for my number... lol... den i wake up... phew... lucky only a dream.. or else i will get killed... by who? hu else... haha...

25 dec
merry x'mas... haha... ho ho ho... no present from any one... haha... feeling weird... keep thinking abt yesterday party without her... haiz... keep asking her to go... she dun wan... haiz... so tt is the reason tt i did nt haf fun... woke up at 11 by a call from my wushu friend... asking mi to go bugis to help him to choose jean... lol... den go eat wif my cousin... and den my mum and him to follow mi as he will go back malaysia at night... but he dun wan... so he play maple at home lor... den i go mit my friend... went to bugis... gt ppl jam... so we climb and cross the road... haha... i clever right.. and i look back... ppl start to follow... haha... den bring him to bugis street... he say he wan a plain jean... haiz.. he nvr tell mi earlier.. haiz.. den walk walk... saw a jean shop... den ask him go choose... den i go see shirt... saw a black long sleeve shirt... hope to buy tt.. but other day ba... no money... den we walk to orchard to take bus... reach home.. saw my cousin still playing maple... lol... den my mum give mi $10 and ask mi to bring him go eat... den i ask him wan to eat wad... he dun noe wad to eat... so i ask.. wan to eat pizza or nt... den he say anything.. den i order... haha... merry feast... haha... $40.85 inculding GST... haha... nid to wait for 45 mins... while waiting... i go bath.. haha... den watch tv... den pizza arrive... haha... start eating... eat till damn full sia... den my cousin leave my house at 9.30 due to his sis was celebrating other cousin birthday... den i was boed.. den i play maple... den boring... ask her to go online... she cant.. haiz... i guess i shall stop here as ltr u guys will get pissed of tis very very long post i haf for today... haha...

2006-12-19T01:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday... woke up by my mum.. haiz... my house clock spoilt.. so i relax.. cause it stated 12.30.. after calling her... den went to bath... come out liao... see clock.. wa.. still 12.30... so i ask my sis wad time... she say.. gg to 1.30 loh... wa... haiz... went to plaza to get my phone from my mum... den go school... den heavy rain... tok to jinyi and NT student... den go in hall sit... tok to wei zhi and zhen chuan... den tk result time... i was suddenly scare... but i pass... den waiting for her to get result... saw her crying.. den i noe something bad happen.. she didnt pass... haiz... mood suddenly change... and i keep asking myself... wan to op for ITE.. haiz... i really dun noe wad to do... haiz... was damn sad over tt... cant bear to leave her... haiz... sad sad sad... haiz..

2006-12-13T18:52:00.000+08:00

haiz.. today... also nvr eat... nth to eat... so juz drink 2 can of coke... whole day di nth but staring at the comp for hours... feel very uneasy... two days nvr touch phone... haiz... dun feel lyk doing anything... my mum ask mi go plaza... i ignore... cause i totally no mood... go plaza do wad... update bank acc... haiz... still feeling unwell... still having fever... 38.2 C... haiz... today juz got scold from my mum... saying tt i everything also dun wan to do expect staring at the comp.. eat also dun wan to eat... sleep also dun wan to sleep... wad else u wan.. tt wad she say... haiz... sry mum... i totally no mood to do anything... cant help... playing freecell the whole day... cant do anything expect play freecell... haiz...

2006-12-13T02:12:00.000+08:00

haiz... guess i will pass out anytime... haiz... maybe will start work again on friday till end of tis year... haiz... mi juz came home from a walk outside... it's cold outside... i thought i will feel better after a walk... but while walking... i keep looking at my phone... see weather there is any replied msg from her... but... haiz... as wad i said earlier on... eat 2 slice of bread only for the whole day... illness??? ya... mi still feeling sick... i guess i really let her down... make her angry... till nw... yet to be forgiven... haiz... nvm... i will still wait... hope tt the answer wont be the ending part of the relationship... haiz... ya... maybe she was rite... i dun noe her well enough... haiz... maybe i really nt ready for relationship... haiz... i really nid someone to help mi in tis... haiz... i dun wan to make ppl angry or sad... i juz wan to make ppl happy... but i cant... why... haiz... i see other hu stead also very happy... but for mine... will be.. quarrel here and there... i dun wan tis to happen... haiz.. i also wan happy ending... haiz... guess tonight i cant sleep again... still waiting for answer... i noe im silly to wait for her answer... i also muz suffer... she is suffering... and i cant be enjoying over here...

2006-12-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

haiz today... very sleepy... didnt sleep last night due to something bad happen... switch on the comp... start online... no one online yet... so i play freecell... and draw out the freecell face... den comp hang... hate it... haiz... on comp again... den hang again... haiz... gt piss... i slap the comp... was suddenly sick at 1++... haiz... gt fever, cough and flu... den i father was awake... den i on the comp... it hangs again... haiz... so i switch off... den i was slap by my father... reason... i nvr bring my phone wherever i go... den i gt headache... haiz... i onyl eat 2 slice of bread from morning till nw... dun ask y... juz simply no mood... haiz... shall stop here...

2006-12-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

MI... DARIUS YER HWEE LONG IS A STUPID BASTARD HU ONLY NOE HOW TO MAKE PPL CRY... IM FUCKING USELESS... SHOULD JUZ DIE AND LEAVE TIS WORLD... CAUSE NO ONES WILL CARE... U WILL ONLY THINK TT IM HAPPY TO SEE U CRY AND BEING UPSET... WHENEVER I SEE U UPSET AND CRY... THE FIRST THING CAME INTO MY MIND WAS... RUN OUT TO THE ROAD AND BANG BY A CAR... MAKE SURE JUZ ONE BANG AND I WILL DIE... I NOE... MI VERY STUPID... VERY NURD... DUN NOE HOW TO CONSOLE PPL... CAUSE IM A COLD BLOODED BASTARD... HAIZ... NVM... NO ONE CARE AT ALL... MI GT BEATEN... FATHER ALSO BEAT MI FOR FIGHTING OUTSIDE... FATHER MOTHER FIGHT CAUSE OF MI... FATHER SLAP MI CAUSE I BREAK TIS FAMILY... MI VERY USELESS IN EVERYTHING AND EVERYWHERE... SO... WAD THE POINT OF LIVING... U MAY THINK TT I CHANGE MY PHONE... LUCKY... BUT WAD WILL HAPPEN NEXT U WILL NVR NOE... 2 YEARS AGO... MY FATHER BROUGHT U NEW HP... DEN HE GIVE MI... THE NEXT DAY... HE SMASH MY HP... U THINK CHANGING A NEW PHONE IS LUCKY... IS GD... BUT HP SPOILT OR BEING SMASH... THE FEELING IS SO NT GD... AND USING BACK THE OLDEST... HEAVIEST... HP.... U THINK IS FUN... 3210... U THINK IS GD HUH... ARGH... NO MOOD TO DO ANYTHING NW... CANT SLEEP... JUZ HAD A FIGHT WIF HER... ALL SHE THINK IS I DIDNT TRUST HER... ALL MY FAULT... I MAKE HER CRY... MI USELESS... MI BASTARD... WANNA TO BUY THING TO MAKE HER HAPPY... SHE WILL SAY... IS TIS THE WAY HOW GUYS MAKE GIRLS HAPPY... MI DO EVERYTHING WILL ONLY HAF A ANSWER... FAIL!!! CAUSE MI IS A FAILURE BASTARD...

2006-12-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

haiz... on sat... when out wif her... was damn happy... lots of walking here and there... mi... haha... was childish all the way... lookng for balloons... haha... den go release at the esplanade... den go walk walk again... sent her home... haiz... cant bear to leave her... den walk home slowly... cant sleep tt night... didnt sleep the whole day... miss her loads... den yesterday when to malaysia at 6 am... early sia... so lazy to walk... haiz... before gg out... i msg as i promise her... den i ask her to go back sleep... mi so bad rite... wake ppl up and ask ppl go sleep... reach malaysia at 9++ when there and eat our breakfast... den go borrow car from my father's friend... haiz... my mum say wanna to ask my dad to teach mi how to drive... but haven teach... mi really very keen to learn how to drive... haiz... my cousin only 15 and he noe how to ride a motorbike liao... argh... after borrow a car... i sleep inside... mi too lazy to walk... haha... den go relative house... they talk i sleep... den go cut hair... haiz... plan to cut damn short and cut off my dyed hair... but didnt... haha... i also dun noe why i dun wan to cut my hair short liao... hope tt go back school... all the teachers eyes gt problem... cant see my coloured hair... haha... after cutting... den washing... cool... i lyk the young lady hu cut and wash my hair... the cutting was gd... washing also gt massage at the neck and shoulder... haha... 3 guys at my family cut and wash hair only cost 46Rm... damn cheap sia... shop name also lyk maths de... "2+2" haha... after tt... hop back to the car... go back my father's friend house to return car... den my father's friend ask where we are gg... den my father say gg to his late father side... den he drove us there... i sleep again... haha... reach there... whether damn fucking hot... cant tahan... went to find relative... 15 mins of walking... den reach... eat bee boon and i ask my father... there gt room or nt... why i ask is because they are bosses... they open resort... fish farm... ferry station... pertol station and many more... one month income gt 1mil to 2mil... wow... tt is a lot... but i heard tt their hp bill also a lot... 7k to 8k... wow... they chat wif my father... and my father told them tt i cant find a job... so they ask my father to ask mi go there help them to looking after the fishes... haiz... den they will give mi phone tt the big boss is using... bills also they pay... i also heard tt their maid and workers is also using the same phone as the boss is using... and the boss help them pay the bills... i wish to help out and get a phone for her... but u see... every min every second looking at the fish very boring de leh... haiz... i thought of gg back to sell ticket... and earn money... so tt i can buy wad she wans... mi very useless... :'( cant make her happy... haiz... after all the crap... i go bath... switch on the air con and enjoy... den fell asleep... haf a bad dream... is abt her... cant remember clearly... all i noe is... from a house run out of the house is full of sand... and i saw her running away from mi wif a guy... den i step onto a quicksand... i try to get out but cant... den i say... haiz... without her... i live also no use... might as well juz die... and i went in to the sand... den in hell liao... king of hell ask mi why i die... and he say... u are useless... a girl treat u so gd and yet u didnt realise it... so he ask his men to pull mi down to a place and chop mi into pieces... blood was all around... and i gt shock... and i woke up... heartbeat suddenly stop... cant breathe... mind was totally blank... and i pass out... after tt... i dun remember liao... when i wake up... i saw everyone was sleeping... i see my phone... i haf a msg and a missed call... and it was only 1 am... wow... i wonder how long i pass out sia... call from jinyi... and msg from pam... haiz... sry... i cant reply and answer call... bill ltr very ex... den today morning i haf a missed call again... from... unknown... i thought it was from her... but i dun think so... but juz to comfirm... i asked her when i reach sing... wake up at 9++ and leave at 10++ and reach sing at 1++ when i reach sing le... my hp line is still malaysia de... argh... cant msg yet... i miss msging her... reach home... had lunch and bath... wad she is doing??? hu noe... wad happen to her?? i dun noe... she dun wan to tell... haiz.. mi getting damn worried... cant eat my dinner... cant do thing well... argh... why cant she juz tell mi wad she is thinking... haiz... :( i noe mi very useless... stupid... cant help her... but i keep trying to help her and yet she say tt she dun wan ppl to care for her... i gt so upset... i cooked noodles and i gt burn... noodles was overcooked... haiz... nw... cant sleep.. that why im here to blog... mi still very worried abt her... haiz...

2006-11-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

Problems... Problems... Problems... when can i get it over... argh... lets talk abt NCC POC 2006... 1st day we cant go... dun noe why... but after the camp... P. chong say that he wan the sec 3 to haf some leadership... so juz hack lor... 2nd day... we went in at night... 8.10... i leave home at 7.40 due to my uniform... haf to iron and stuff... i thought i was late... so i took a cab... and it costs mi $5.30... haiz... peak hours sia... haiz... if i noe i nvr late right... i wont be so stupid to take a cab... haiz... waste my money... haiz... campfire start... haf a lot of fun... haiz... think back... i also nvr did as well as they... haiz... den... we go play play at our classroom... very boring.. den go walk walk around the school... they all scare gt ghost... lol.... den i take lead lor... walk walk walk.. den go back classroom... chit chat abt the past... Part A... Part B... Part C... and Part D... haiz... 4 years had past very quickly... haiz... miss those days... today... POP... haiz... thought gt march in but all because of FAIZUL... den dun haf... haiz... fker... juz fk off la... bastard... haiz... see the changing of parade... i felt lyk crying... my hard work didnt waste... my two best cadet are in the USM and AUSM post... im proud of them... den after the whole camp... P. chong say tt he cant bear to let us leave the company... he hope tt we can stay one more year which is impossible... haiz... after that... we were dismiss... i talk to hassan... and i felt lyk crying... as i type tis blog... i also felt lyk crying... haiz... dun worry.. i will hold back my tears... den i go home bath change and went to mit my god sis and we went to bugis and work... haiz... today i work lyk fk sia... only earn $3... haiz... after tt... send my god sis home... i haf no choice to send her home.. cause she cant walk properly as she is damn tired... haiz... hope she is sleeping nw... haiz... but i dun think so... she will nvr listen to wad i say... moving on to her... same as my god sis... dun listen to advise.. haiz... she sick... i ask her go see doctor... she say only a minor one.. den nvm... the next day still sick... ask her go see doctor... she dun wan... nvm... den the next day... still sick... she still dun wan to visit doctor... yet she still say i nvr care her... if i dun care her.. i wont be asking her to go visit a doctor again and again and again... haiz... i really dun understand her sia... my word very diffcult to understand meh... why no one wan to listen... haiz... dun wan to listen and yet wan to complain... wad is tis... for naqq... i haf nth to say u liao... please stop bothering mi liao... i had enough of u and ur _ _ _ _ _ problem liao... if u wanna to noe the answer... please do ask him on the day we get our 'N' level result... but please be prepared... i noe the answer liao... but i wan him to tell u himself... i dun noe u will be happy or sad... but wadever it is... u also haf to move on wif ur life... few more problem... job... when will tt fker call mi... haiz... damn slow sia... i went for few interview but no one reply.. haiz... nw the Temp. job is really suck for mi... argh... nw mostly my problem is $$$... no money = no talk = nothing... haiz... haiz... i think i will stop here... byes...

2006-11-20T11:47:00.000+08:00

haiz... is it very diffcullt to understand wad i write in my blog meh... haiz... kena scold siao... i noe im siao.. so if anyone saw mi out there... please catch mi and send mi to IMH... and dun let mi escape again...

2006-11-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

haiz... i haf to do tis short and quick... lately im really sick... but i wont be visiting the doctor... haha.. dun ask why... cause lately there are too many thing happen at home... yesterday... my mum was unwell and yet she haf to listen to my dad and haf to clean up the store room... so i help her... i dun noe wad my dad told her... and i juz did wad my mum told mi to do... remove all the heavy and bulky thing... den put back.. den mop the floor... so tiring... i wonder how many guy in tis world will do house chore... haha... den go bath... and i went Zzzz... haha... today... wake up at 11.. haha... dun say i pig la.. it's very tired lor... haha... saw my mum using the comp.. haiz... so i cant use lor... haiz... den my mum ask my sis to go buy food... so i ask her to buy mine lor... hehez... im damn lazy... haha... den eat... den my dad wake up liao.. haiz... see his face... sian... haha... he scold my mum... for wad... abt the store room lor.. haiz.. he nt happy den he also scold mi... haiz... i juz remove and put back the things also kena scold... WTH.. after my dad went to work... i also work... work as wad... mover lor... haiz... after finish all the stupid stuff... went to bath... den... i view all my past photo.. haha.. look juz lyk my bro nw... haha... den my bro and sis fight... fight abt wad... abt a water bottle... my mum gt aangry and beat them using a cane... the bottle belong to my sis... and my mum actually ask her nt to buy and yet she go buy... so she was beaten for abt 10mins... and my mum juz shout and slam the door and she lock herself inside... and she shout... why u all dun wan to listen to mi... why u all wan to make the whole house messing... might as well i juz die and tt it... when i heard tis... i feel lyk beating my bro and sis as i long time nvr beat ppl liao... haiz... i cried juz nw and while typing... i noe... guy shouldn't cry even they bleed or hurt... but im juz too emo... i didint noe wad to do... i keep thinking tis question since young... even my darling also dun noe... wad if my mum really die... u see... tis house only my mum show care and concern... only she is doing the house chore... wad my dad do... he only bring in money... he doesn't even bother abt us... i was kena chase out of house since young... i remember tt at the age of 7... i was filming at mediacorp... and my mum see the show and cant see my face... she chase mi out... juz small thing she chase mi out.. haiz... nw... i haf the chance... and i will be gg the course if i didnt get to sec 5... if i get to sec 5... i will go the course after 'O'... i wan to be the lead of every show... and i will wan to make myself and my mum proud of it... since they keep chasing mi out... and i was wondering.. should i juz take my bank acc and ic as well as my passport and move out of singapore and go to canada and live there forever... and i will still get a chance to find my 1st admire... haiz... if my parent juz pass away lyk tt... will i haf to stop my study and work to support my bro and sis... haiz... im damn confuse... ARGH!!!

2006-11-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

haiz.. a new day and a new post... wad to say ma... erm... i juz gt home from The Arts House (The Old Parliament House) although i feel a bit tired... but wif the accompany of her... i dun really felt tired... i dun noe why... went there of bus 700 and we drop at raffles city... we walk the underpass to esplanade and we saw some malay people and we went to take a look... after tt... she wanted to haf a drink at STARBUCKS COFFEE... so we went to buy... haiz... both of us were the first timer... haha... den we find our way to the Arts House... den we went in... haiz... haf to sign dun noe wad la... den wait till the door open... haiz... sian... there were two plays... Tribal Dreams and The Boys Who Stole The Stars... the cast in the play of Tribal Dreams were: Fatin, Amira Begum, Mathusutanan, Muhammad Faiz, Muhammad Shahril, Mr Eddy, Nareshwini, Nurhijjah, Nur Khaizurah, Sangeetha, Sanuja, Su Li, Veshalini, Widah Alisah... haha... it was boring at first before Mr Eddy went into the play... Mr Eddy is juz lyk a joker sia.. so funny... wahaha... den 15 mins of break... we went no where but sitting there... their 15 mins is juz lyk 5 mins... damn fast... the cast of the play of The Boy Who Stole The Stars were: Ahmad Hambali, Muneshwaran Trevor, Nurul Fatin, Siti Shahirah, Veshalini... it was the same as the first play.. boring at first den the ending part was lyk... Oh... haiz... den we went to esplanade roof... it's nice to go in the night... i was wondering when will be our next time... haiz... i noe i haf to WLL (Wait Long Long) we stay there for abt 10 mins talking abt my POC... haiz... dun wish to talk abt it anymore... den we took bus 960 back... sent her home and she ask mi... did i enjoy myself today... i dun wan her to be sad or something... so i say... if u say im happy den i am... if u say im sad den so be it lor... actually i was sad... cause... i haf to leave her again... haiz... i ask her the same question tt she ask mi and she say tt she is happy... haiz... i wonder why is she so happy to go home and yet i will be so sad to go home... i dun wan her to leave... haiz... i wonder when will be the next time go stay out late... haiz... haiz... haiz... I DUN WAN TO BLOG LIAO LA... ARGH... "WO HEN FAN!!!"

2006-11-17T14:19:00.000+08:00

walao... i hate it.. one of my dream came true.. haiz... last night i dream tt i will be scolded from my parents juz because i cant carry things tt well... haiz... when i sleep so soundly... i was wake by my mum... guess wad... she ask mi to help my dad to carry a stupid thing tt ppl throw away de... the thing is lyk 3 times of my size and it is my height... i was damn sleepy... haiz... i was blur blur de... i walk till i bang onto a wall... mi very stupid rite... haha... i help to carry tt thing while i was half awake... it is so diffcult to carry... only less den 1 cm of space to hold and tt thing is fucking heavy... i hurt my hand and my toes... and yet i get scolded... WTH... haiz... tml cant go out and i haf to clean up the whole house all by myself... haiz... ask my sis to do.. and guess wad she say... ask kor kor to do la... everytime i do... lol... i was wondering when she do house cleaning sia... haiz... gtg liao... i wanna to get ready to go out liao... i dun wish to see tt fucker... wahaha... tata...

2006-11-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

haiz... sian... tis few days haf been going out since morning till night... cause dun wan to see my fucker father... haiz... father = fucker... wahaha... i hate him to the core... i feel lyk fighting wif him whenever he scold mi... i dun think he treat mi as his son... haiz... i guess im from the dustbin... haiz... i think im sick liao... but lazy to see doctor... haiz... see doctor will also get scolding de wor... reason is.... waste money... scolded from... FUCKER... haiz... i rather die from illness sia... WHO CAN GIVE MI A LOBANG!!! i dun wan to get scolded everyday... go out.. i will feel lyk spending money... nw no money liao... haiz... i left wif $10 till i found a job... how to survive lyk tt... haiz... yesterday... went out to find job... and they ask mi go interview... den i go lor... i reach there... they told mi tt the manager is very busy tt day... so i haf to wait for their call and go there again... haiz... till nw... i haf yet to recieve a single call from anyone... haiz... den i leave tt place... and dun noe where to go... so i go take MRT... through and fro... haiz... juz to kill time i haf to do tt... haiz... all because of tt FUCKER... today... wake up at 8++... was wake by a msg... its from her... haha... den go bath and when out without anyone knowing... haha... all still sleeping ma... :P only clever people lyk mi will go out early juz for nt getting scolding from parents... today... i didnt went for class... all i wan is juz her... i dun noe y... maybe she is the only one who really show care for mi and give mi the love tt i wan... haha... juz simply love her so much... DARLING... I LOVE YOU!!! when sending her home... i gt a call from mother... guess wad... i gt scolded... haiz... see.. even tt im nt at home i will also get scolded from parents... haiz... WHO CAN PITY MI AND EXCHANGE PARENTS WIF MI!!! haiz... my bill for last month is $134++ haha... haiz... who cares... anyway i going to change number liao... my mum going to cancel the line after 10/12/06 haha... i will be using prepaid card again... haiz... sian... only $56 per month... how to use... haiz... for mi one week or so sure finish de... haiz... got to stop here liao... or else wan to get scolding again... haiz... tata... PLEASE TAG WHOEVER VIEW MY BLOG... NO MATTER I NOE U SO NT...

2006-11-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

yoz yoz... long time nvr blog le... was force to blog... haiz... i sleep at 10... woke up by a dream... i wanted to go back to sleep... but cant... see HP wad time... it was only 11.50... and i saw one msg... it was from her... so i tk a look at the msg... she say tt i broke her promise... so i keep thinking wad promise i broke... im nt a guy hu break promise k... so i saw my mum using the com... i beg her to let mi use to blog before my father came home... haiz... now a days i keep dreaming the same dream... haiz... dream of her went missing out of the sudden... we cycle to esplanade together... i noe she dun noe how to cycle... haiz... dun noe why i dream tt also... haiz... den we lock bike and we walk walk around there... after she wanted to go to toilet and so do i... after tt... i waited for her outside... for 10 mins... but no sight of her... i gt so worried and ask ppl to look for her inside.. nt no one inside... worried lyk hell... called her.. she nvr picked up the call... haiz... so... run around her... saw some fajarian... ask them weather gt saw her or nt... they told mi tt she cross the road.. so i juz run across the road without looking out for cars... while running across the road... i heard her calling mi... i turn back and den i was knock down by a cars... k... wad happen today... before i say wad happen... i wanna to ask... am i in the wrong to eat when im hungry... today... before my father woke up... my sis go buy food for him... so i ask my sis to buy mine too... i eat... den... he scold mi for eating... WTH... haiz... haiz... dun wish to say much... haiz... i guess i had to stop here as i dun noe my father wad time will be home... if he come home and see mi still awake... i guess i dun nid to mit her tml liao.. cause i will be beaten lyk hell... haiz... life suck for mi... haiz... darling... i really cant wait sia... 9 hrs and 50 mins left... haiz... haiz... gtg liao... i wan to see her tml... haha... love you always darling... haha... PLEASE TAG BEFORE U LEAVE TIS BLOG!!!

2006-10-24T22:35:00.000+08:00

haiz... dun noe wad to blog... im happy tt i noe tt there is ppl viewing my blog... haha... cant wait for 26/10 sia... haiz... going out wif her... haha... after tt day... i wonder when will be the next time... haiz... after no more school... life is sux for mi sia... haiz... cant do anything... cant find job also... jobless... haiz... sian... rot at home can die sia... haiz... dun ask mi to go out... cause i dun feel lyk going out when i dun haf $... haha... juz nw at 8.30p.m... i was watching the star award up close... looking at the stars getting award... and i was wondering when will be my mine to be up there... i guess i was juz dreaming... haiz... still looking for job to pay my course fee... haiz... still yet to pay $838 out of $1088... haiz... damn sian... today repair my stupid bike of mine... i dun noe wad happen... after repairing... try cycle... was hard to cycle at 1st... but after tt.. can cycle smoothly liao... but cant control sia... haiz... i really dun noe wad to do with my bike.. haiz... parents keep nagging mi to repair the bike... or else they will throw them away... haiz... i also nvr go training of bike repairing... haiz... anyone can help mi wif all tis problem... ARGHHHH!!!!

2006-10-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

im scare... haiz... i dun noe why... maybe is abt my mum illness... today while i using the com... my dad friends came to visit my mum... den my mum told them abt her illness... something abt whole body gone numb... no wonder she keep going for check up in SGH... the bill for each visit is abt $300-$400... wow... tt is ex... she went to tk the x-ray result and let them see... i manage to tk pic of it when my mum is using the com... haiz... im really scare tt she will juz leave us... although i may hate her sometime... but no matter wad... she also my mum wad... haiz... wad can i do nw to help her sia... why she dun wan to tell us abt her illness... haiz... i overheard wad my mum told them.. she say tt the bone press the nerve tt the neck bone... so she haf to go for operation... which cost her $10000... wow.. haiz... i cant help her sia... operation i dun care but the only thing is only 60% will be successful... if fail... 2% my mum can live... haiz... i rather she nt go for the operation...

2006-09-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

haiz... today morning thought of accompany my darling to school... i scare she will go to school alone... im scare tt she will be lonely... she msg mi and ask mi "you gg to school wif mi huh" tis msg tell mi tt she dun fell lyk gg to school wif mi... i felt tt im stupid to juz rush to get to her void deck... rush for wad... haiz... i was perspiring lyk hell... wad the point of rushing there and didnt accompany her to school... haiz... will nt rush anymore... will be gg to school alone from nw on... when to school alone... didnt talk to anyone till art lesson... during physics lesson... vent my anger cause the stupid renu keep shaking the table while i wanted to sleep... so juz pull the table back... and went to sleep... today lesson sux to the core sia... all lesson paper paper paper... teacher nt sian... i very sian sia... can do other thing den paper work or nt... M.T class... play scabble wif ms kum... i was lyk so noisy... keep shouting asking them to faster... no dirty words today except... FART... haha... today form words lyk "VIVIEN", "ELENE", "NURAIDA" and more... haha... haiz... after school rush down to concourse to meet my darling... den sent her home... abt to reach her void deck... saw her dad... haha... dun noe wad will happen sia... haiz... went home and eat my dinner den go to ZzZzZz... haha... haiz... stop her la... sian liao... haiz... night everyone... miss mi k... miss the Dare Devil... haha...

2006-09-25T19:21:00.000+08:00

haizz... for the past few days i didnt blog... i dun noe y... maybe im busy... friday... boring lyk hell sia... PE was bored too... haiz... after tt... when home and get change... when out wif aida to catch a movie... haiz... the movie 'miami vice' is damn damn bored... i sleep and was woke by her... haiz... better dun watch... haha... on saturday... early in the morning muz go school for tt stupid 'Graduation Ceremony' it was damn bored... haiz... walk in to the hall lyk dun noe wad sia... i haf the feeling tt im a special person walking in to the hall... everyone was clapping... haha... while ppl is toking... i play stupid game wif jinyi... 1-30(hu say 30, the person lose) haha... lame sia... haha... after tt... aida ask mi go watch movie wif her, nagg and niwa... haiz... watch 'john tucker muz die' quite bored too... haiz... guy wear tongs sia... cant imaging... haiz... but i lyk how they play basketball... haha... i wish to learn tt sia... haha... after tt... when to PS go eat... BK again... haiz... after i had finish eating... while i was waiting the girls to finish food... i play wif my drink... keep hitting on the table till it leak... haha... den the girls plan to tk neo print... they put mi along... haiz... im a guy hu dun lyk to tk photo... then darling got piss i think... den end up... niwa brought herself a key chain i think... den when to tk bus... in the bus... was moody cause of something... haiz... send her home and i went home... haiz... today... lesson was boring to hell... can sleep sia... but got one person dun allow mi to sleep... haiz... den send her home den went home... thank you darling for helping mi in my blog... love you so much...

2006-09-24T22:01:00.000+08:00

Dear I have done something for you.
I'm just helping you to change your skin.
It's really late for me now.

Anyway hopefully the day after tml I will be back to edit your blog.
Don't worry I will make it nice for ya.

Anyway, good luck for N level which is coming less than a week.
Happy fasting.
Love ya.

From Nuraida

Not Feeling Well

2006-09-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

sry... i didnt blog for few days... nt feeling well la... only sunday... when for test and i pass... monday... nothing much... got the form from Mr Chong to go oversea (india)... haha... forget to bring report book... haiz... im too forgetful le... after school... rush home to get money... broke liao sia... haiz... when to BPP to haf lunch den trying to study but... haiz... cant... dun noe y... haiz... den the manager... i think is a new manager chase us out... den i go pour my milo on the table and the manager stare at mi... haiz... she wan to stare den stare lor... i also quit mac le... haha... nw quit mac... stay at home very sian... nvr quit also sian... haiz... wad shall i do to make myself nt boring... haiz... den send her home... on my way home... suddenly got stomachache... haiz... reach home... bath and eat... eat half way... cant tahan with my stomachache... den go lie on my bed... dar dar call and we chat till i slept... sry... haha... i nid to sleep to let myself feel better... haiz... today... almost late for school... haiz... i thought she haven go school so wait for her under her block... till 7.20 den i call her and ask... she say she at school le... haiz... rush to school... lucky nvr late... haiz... forget to bring 3 things... PE attire for soccer after school, report book, and form forom oversea... haiz... so i haf to rush home to tk them.. haiz... tok to her she ignore mi... haiz... sad sad sia... den i also ignore her and didnt tok to her... after school... juz rush home to tk all my stuff... rush back to school by cab... haiz... play soccer... 4A1 against 4T1... haha... guess wad... 4A1 won the match... haha... 1st half... we score 3-0... haha... 2nd half... we score 4-3... haha... overall score... 7-3... haha... and guess wad... guess who the goalkeeper... it's... Dare Devil... haha... but i only let the ball go in one time only... the other two is amir... haha... haiz... although we won... i feel sad... haiz... why i play always will injure de... haiz... last time play with NPCC... i hurt my stomach... nw my arm.... last ball they shoot... i use only one hand to block... and i hurt my arm... haiz... after tt... i when to concourse to look for her... den i send her home... cant tahan... i got headache... den my darling is so kind to give mi panadol... haha... thanks darling... love you so much... when home den get scolding from my mum... she say i always late late go home... haiz... wad should i do... stay at home also get scolding... nvr go home also get scolding... i juz think tt tis house is juz for mi to sleep... haiz... i tell her i going out on friday... she scold mi.... i juz keep quiet cause she say she nid to go to hospital on 20,21,22/9 to do checkup... i think for her... nvm... i tahan... she say... my father ask mi to clean the fan as he dun feel wind anymore... haiz... guess wad... i am a human nt dog... he always ask mi to do thing... i tahan... fan cant feel wind so wad... i also nvr use air con or fan while i sleep... i still feel cold sia... haiz... on sunday... my mum is hungry and nid to haf some food... tt time was 12 noon... and i haf to go out for my test... so i ask my sis to help my mum to buy... she dun wan... and i get scolding from my dad... he say... feed u till so big also no use... ur mum nid something to eat... u dun wan to buy... wth... if i haf the time i will go buy... end up i was late for my test... haiz... when im sick... guess wad they will do... they will ask mi go sleep and the next day will be fine... haiz... my sis or bro sick... even it is midnight... my mum will call my dad and my dad will send them to the hospital... haiz... i guess im juz a dog in tis house... when they nid mi they will say... come doggy... and i will be so stupid to do tis and tt.. haiz... when they dun nid mi... they will say... go sleep doggy... when they think im useless... they will say... out u go doggy... get out of my sight... haiz... use to it le la... i got chase out from home since k1... haiz... tell u all... u all also dun believe... haha... i remember tt they chase mi out and they say only can stay outside the doorstep... my neighbour saw mi... she pity mi... so she allow mi to go into her house and play... when my mum noe... she went over and cane mi in front of them... haiz... life feally sux for mi... haiz... i guess i gonna stop here... damn long post i haf today... haha...

2006-09-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

haiz... my darling help mi to do with this stupid thingy... i juz a noobie on tis... haiz... sry darling for asking u to do all tis... love you so much... today... cant make it to surprise my darling as in waiting for her under her block without telling her... haiz... in school nth really happen... juz tt kenneth keep staring at mi... i dun noe y... maybe i say he is prevent yesterday... cant imaging wad he did yesterday sia... for girls... if u see tis... u will feel lyk vomiting i think... haha... he lost his water bottle and he juz keep looking for girls water bollte and using.. first he use wan xin bottle... the bottle keep losting and he keep looking for it.. wad the hell... can see tt he treasure the bottle too much... haha... when he go to the toilet to do something... i go take the bottle and ask wan xin to keep it.. he cant find it... haha... den i go disturb jinyi... den my darling ran to mi and telling mi tt kenneth go take my darling bottle... i got so fed up and ran to the toilet and scold him... y u so prevent de... keep taking ppl bottle and use... haiz... nvm... skip... today during PE lesson... playing captain ball... very sian as i didnt get the chance to take the ball except all the ball which went out of the court... haiz.. i cant play with my classmate la... i dun think they noe how to play but some of them still can la... all the guys all throw so high and they expect the girls to catch it... haiz... i rather play with girls only sia... haiz... den MT lesson... the class smell so stink woth all the spary around in the class... even ms kum also cant tahan... haiz... nw i cant tahan wif my eyes liao... getting heavy liao... i think i haf to stop here... tata...

something wrong wif mi

2006-09-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

i will make it short and quick as i cant tahan my headache and i guess i haf fever liao... sry if i didnt talk at all today... nt myself... i dun noe why... i slept the whole day during all lesson... really cant tahan the headache... dun noe during wad period... i woke up and i overhead wad pam told her... i noe la... i am slow... useless... stupid... selfish... i dun now how to talk... i juz being so selfish... juz think of myself and no one else... everytime dar dar haf problem.. i dun noe how she feel... it is going to be 1 yr le.. yet i still cant give her the reason for lyking her... i juz forget wad i told pam... i try recalling but i cant... i juz dun wan u to say tt im lying to u or something else... before dar dar pass mi a letter... i slept and i dream tt she break up wif mi in school... i juz cant tahan and i juz climb over the fence and my classmate say i dun dare to jump down de... den mr tong arrived... den he say... haiz... u again... he also say i dun dare to jump... so he dare mi to jump... and i juz let off my hands and i landed on the ground wif blood all over... haiz... dar dar... u ask mi abt wad life mean to mi... erm... i juz think tt it is nth to mi... i noe u treasure ur life but i dun... cause weather im alive or nt... there no one who really care for mi... im sry tt i overheard wad pam told u... i juz being too selfidh le. sry darling... really sry... haiz... gtg le... really cant tahan wif my headache liao...